Love and Words

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ugly diamonds

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When I was a child,

I would look out into the darkness,

and think that somewhere,

held up by time 

and trouble,

there was someone strong

riding to save me,

willing to overcome anything,

to see that I was safe.


And they'd slay the demons.

And bring me home.

Where all would cry,

for the things I'd been through,

and the things I'd survived.


When I was a child,

I thought these things.


And now.

Now,

I am older,

and the stones have become my bones.


We all have such ugly diamonds

hidden in our hearts.

Such precious memories.

Such beautiful things.

That no one else would think worthy to buy.

And these ugly diamonds,

that have been strung on hope,

are all that gets us through.


And I don't want you to clean them.

I don't want to trade them for something new.

I don't want diamonds that sparkle and shine,

I want what is mine,

even if it is old and yellow,

it's true.


Why do you ask me?

Why?

Why do you ask me

what it is I believe,

when as soon as I speak, 

you want me to trade it for something new?


In this life,

we have only what we know,

what we learn, 

and what we try to decide 

is the way to be.


In this life,

at the end,

no matter who is asking,

how I have lived,

it is I,

who looks inside

to see what I have kept,

to read the things I have written

on the walls of my soul.

It is I, 

who will give my history voice.


I will speak for my demons.

I will speak for my angels.

I will speak for my loves

and I will speak of my hate.


And all the while my words fall,

all the while my words fall,

my fingers will count,

the ugly diamonds I have kept,

strung on the thinnest of hope.


My ugly diamonds,

that remind me of where

I have been,

and where I wish to be.


I don't want you to clean them.

I don't want to trade them, 

for something new.

I don't want diamonds

that sparkle and shine,

I want what is mine.


Because even if, 

even if 

it is old and yellow,

it's true.

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decagon          poetry

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