Finding the Balance between Love and Money
Love and Money have always appeared to be two forces opposed to each other. They have evolved as catch phrases to define and separate the goals and aspirations of individuals between that of the body and the world, and that of the spirit and emotion. Culturally we do not allow the pursuit of both because we believe that each is in opposition to the other, but is that true? Both require a form of pursuit, dedication and discipline. It is not possible to truly achieve one or the other without the company of its "enemy." Yet how do you achieve a balance between the two when to cross the very thin line that separates them is to risk losing sight of one?
Money is more than dollars and cents. Money brings with it safety and security, social status, freedom of choice and mobility. Without money, our lives seem to be at the mercy of a million outside forces. With money, we have a means to withstand them, or even a way to escape. In modern western society education, career and personal development are all geared towards the same end - to enable you to provide enough money for your life so that you are free from want and safe from disaster or emergency. To choose to live a life in which money is not the centering point from which all decisions radiate out is to live outside of the mainstream culture.
Money is also the means to achievement. One can, potentially, achieve one's goals without money, but it is a long and difficult and "uninsured" path. Money used as a tool for achievement can smooth the road and allow the individual to bring into their lives situations and tools to use in the pursuit of their goals.
Love is much more complicated.
By "love" we could mean relationships to others or to ourselves. Love can be translated into passion for a form of work or creativity or service. Love can mean discipleship and faith. Love, in general, is the pursuit of perfection of the unique and individual life. Despite the origin of its definition in the self, Love in the end is always inclusive of things outside of the self. Love allows the self to be joined with others. Truly, one cannot love another (thing or person) unless you love yourself first.
The problem with Love, compared to Money, is that it is not quantifiable. There is no car you can drive down the street and everyone will recognize that you have achieved great success in Love. Yet, conversely, love requires no acknowledgement, except from that which is being loved. It is self driven, self regulated, self controlled but its voice and expression are external. Yet, because it is so self dependent, Love only has the chance to exist and grow if the individual has acquired the beginnings of the fulfillment of their needs of self.
These needs are inclusive of those which require money, but not exclusive to them. Money provides the food, safety and shelter that is necessary for the seed of Love to be sown. Love can break through without these things, but it is a more delicate and desperate flower. Even those who live lives that are "untainted" by money have the ability for their Love supported by someone else's money.
Where balance becomes an issue lies in the choice between what is more important, the safety in all its elements that Money can provide, or the fulfillment of a life lived according to Love. Love dictates many difficult things that are in contrast to the goals of Money and vice versa. Money will tell you that Love is a fool, and Love is aghast at Money's cold indifference, but they both need each other in degrees. Balance is achieved when Love is permitted to rule the life and allows Money to be her servant.
Love gives to Money something that otherwise it could not achieve. Love gives Money purpose, even if that purpose is so small as to provide shelter and food so the individual is not overwhelmed with survival and can begin to explore their emotions, it is more purpose than Money had before.
Without purpose, by itself, Money is cannibalistic and self-destroying. Money can only acquire and promise but it cannot fulfill. Money can provide the means, the tools for safety but it cannot make the safety be felt. That is a recognition that stems from the individual's feelings which are developed only through their pursuit of Love. Money, for all its bluster, is a tool that requires hands and a mind to be used.
And Love?
Love in its finest form, sees the beauty and purpose in everything.
We have, as a western industrialized society, worked very hard to ascribe to Money, Love's attributes. Production and Consumption, the wheels that allow our society to turn, are not in direct conflict with the goals of Love. Yet what these mean brothers do not recognize, is that Love does not require that you forsake the world, it merely requires that it be redefined.
Balance comes easily to one who has re-learned the worth and value of their life. Desperation flees in front of confidence and faith. The first step to achieving balance is to look at where your time and energy is spent and to redefine it. For most of us, the 50 hour work week is the norm and the majority of our waking hours is spent pursuing money. What needs to be done, is to look at the quality of the time spent outside of this, if you let Love begin to be the directing force, you will see the need and purpose for Money in your life become redefined and realigned. You may never lose the 50 hour week, but you may find you have gained your life. Production and consumption become greater as Love gives energy and creates passionate hungers.
Balance is not static and the seesaw will constantly tilt back and forth as Love and Money learn to spend time together. The two are necessary for existing in the Western communities, although Money may be redefined as something other than cash currencies, currency will always be needed. Learn to recognize the tools of Love and to hear its guiding voice and your relationship to Money will be forever changed.
c.2011 Cassandra Tribe. All Rights Reserved